There is no doubt that feelings can sometimes get the better of us. Parents, too, can't avoid such a situation sometimes. Children have a way of pressing those buttons that you weren't even aware you had. Soon after, you start shouting at the top of your lungs. You're not the only one who does that, and it's okay to feel frustrated as a parent. When you have a lot on your plate, it's normal to feel frustrated or irritated occasionally, which causes you to yell. But it rarely makes things better.
Yelling - a Short-Term Solution
First, you must understand that yelling works only as a short-term solution for dealing with bad behaviour. Yes, it might calm the kids down and temporarily make them submissive, but it won't change their attitudes or their behaviour. In other words, it instils fear in kids rather than an understanding of the repercussions of their conduct. For learning, children look to their parents. If a youngster believes that shouting and other forms of aggressiveness are "normal" in their home, their behaviour will reflect that.
Impact of Yelling on Children
A raised voice can never make the message any clearer, as anyone who has been yelled at will attest. No different from you are your kids. Shouting will turn children off, and discipline will be more difficult because their receptivity decreases each time you raise your voice. What most parents don’t understand is that yelling could impact their kiddo’s mental health. Here are some psychological effects of yelling at kids:
- The first thing that could happen when you yell at your child is that they could behave even worse. They could become more stubborn at the moment and may become hostile due to their attempts to justify their behaviour. The whole situation could spiral out of the hands. While yelling may get your kiddo to stop, it will just lead to further issues for both you and them. Children constantly seek out new methods to investigate objects. Therefore, if you shout at them to stop them from doing anything, they might simply pick up something more harmful the next time, which will result in you shouting even louder.
- When you yell at your child, it instils negative emotions, which could bombard your child’s little brain chemistry - this could give rise to depression in them. It is seen that children that experience frequent yelling suffer from low self-esteem and a lack of confidence. They have low self-esteem and are more prone to experience sadness long into adulthood.
- Apart from making them stressed out, yelling has an adverse effect on their physical health as well. Yelling occasionally might result in long-term health issues. Children can develop rheumatoid arthritis, neck and back issues, severe headaches, etc. They may experience these symptoms as adults, making life challenging for them.
Alternatives to Yelling:
It is simpler to discipline kids with a deep emotional bond with their parents. Children will be more responsive to talk and listen before a problem turns into an angry yelling episode if they feel secure and unwaveringly loved. Here’s what else you can do:
- Take deep breaths
- Say as little as possible until you calm down
- Count backwards
- Shake out your hands
Once you calm down, it will be easier for you to get your message through to your child in a simpler way that they understand.